kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
pray to the hookup gods
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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