i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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