is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
