her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
