worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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