Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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