We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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