yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize