Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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