i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
