Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
