You're my little dorito
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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