I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
