never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
