He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
