He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
