He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize