Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
