When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
