I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it's like iHOP with fire
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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