SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
