just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
