i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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