vagina is talking i cant
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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