Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
