Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
