he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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