Non-Jews are for practice
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
