I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
