eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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