Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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