Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
