How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
