woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
