dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
