I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She even gives head with a lisp.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
