i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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