so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
