we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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