he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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