i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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