The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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