Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
