is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
