I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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