Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
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