i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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