who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
