I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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