There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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