I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
