Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Your dad touched me again.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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