i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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