You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
