what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
