Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
FUCK WHALES
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