Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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